Oct 212016

My daughter was dealing in what I like to call “extremes” this week.  Grade school pictures.  Happened.  And even though I tried to reassure her of the positives, her phrase to sum it all up to her Dad when first walking through the door was, “I got my school picture and it is %100 bad.”  And the bad does not stop here people.  This week just keeps comin’ at ya.

Emotions.  Oh to know and understand them.  This is the real chore.  With 3 girls under 7 in tow and home.  The 2nd “extreme”  came out while consecutively keeping a hula hooping session underway (she has watched her mother multitask and fail miserably, so I am sure her subconscious competitive spirit was in full swing).  “I came with my best friend to play the game with everyone, but when the circle came to my turn, they skipped me.  And my best friend didn’t even stand up for me.  And so I said, ‘Well, I guess you just don’t like me and don’t want to ever play with me.  You are not my friend anymore.’ ”  (Of course this is the reader’s digest version for you all.  I would be happy to expand the what was a 30 minute conversation of wading through tears and story plot if you email me.  And don’t have a life.)

The words of making up possible reasons or excuses for the others wasn’t a good idea.  The mama “Jesus teaches us…” only made the hula hooping the main event.  And the mama empathy seemed to move the slow faucet drips to a constant waterfall of tears.  So I was at a loss.  Once again.  In mothering.

But I couldn’t help but think to myself- “Man, she is definitely making a ‘mountain out of a molehill’ (don’t you love the intense analogy I used here).  If only she could see herself through the eyes of Jesus and me, to stand on truth here instead of focusing on the wounds of other’s.  Then her “NOT’s” mindest and heart could be propelled into the present and future as an opportunity to empathize with other’s in their times of woundedness and exclusion and find strength and unfailing love in the arms of Jesus.  He is the ONLY one.  ONLY Savior.  ONLY friend.  Who will never let her and us down.

As I looked on my daughter with self pity, the pride came before a fall as I found myself living in dual mindsets as her this week.  “A little birdie told me” of a conversation which happened among some of my dearest friend’s.  In which I wasn’t there.  But even though I had recently layed my heart and soul before them, without knowing it they crushed it.  Because when looking for someone to fulfill a specific role in ministry, my name wasn’t considered.  It was NOT a factor.  I was NOT considered.  Picked.  And at this point, I also, like my daughter, when to the “extremes” or the I’m “%100 bad” mindset.  I won’t deny it.  I was wounded.  And this is where Satan earns his paycheck.  I went to the dark place.  I didn’t believe God would ever use me, because He must think like everyone else and consider everyone else but me.  Because I am NOT.

Memories of 7th grade NOT being picked for the basketball team came to mind.  Of being the 8th bride in the “7 brides for 7 brother’s” Musicale (if you didn’t catch the gist there, I was NOT in the show due to their only being 7 brides and not 8.  Sorry if I just insulted your intelligence by explaining this joke, my husband tells me I am real good at doing this.)  And so.  the NOTs kept.  On.  Coming.  But I remembered what to do when “100% bad” hits.

Go.  To.  my heavenly Father.  And be.  In His lifegiving company.  And Sit.  Asking His Word to speak to me.  (Getting His download of me instead of others’.  And at this point I KNEW Satan was real upset.  So good!)  And let me tell you-I came out fully loved.  fully valued.  fully gifted.  fully rebuilt.  fully strengthed.  fully geared up to be sent out to serve.

I wonder if you are in a “%100 bad” mindset/circumstance today.  Well guess what?  When in the dark pit, there is one best thing to do.  Look up.  To Jesus.  And allow His light to shine on in.  Or maybe, like my daughter’s hula hoop, you are in a round and round and round cycle of negative/untrue/”hula hoop lies” thinking towards yourself and/or someone else and don’t know how to stop?  Will you ask God to enter into this place and guide you into all Truth?

And so I pray for you today, my sister, the same prayer I prayed for myself.  “Lord come and speak and help and renew.”  The outcome being the 100% bad mindset of “NOTs” (that other’s, ourselves and the enemy infiltrates our minds with) strangely amounting to NOTHING.  And we find ourselves humming the true song of the love, hope and purpose in the mighty name of Jesus.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (The Message)  Strength from Weakness

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.



© 2012 Standing on Peace

Feb 122013

Hungry.  Starving.  Famished.

This has been my state of mind over the past week and a half.  In reality, however, I’m not any of these words.

To heal my body from various symptoms, my naturopath instructed me to maintain a specific diet for six weeks.  I’m to stay away from:

  • Cow’s milk
  • Soy
  • Gluten
  • Eggs
  • Peanut butter/almonds
  • Caffeine/alcohol
  • A number of fruits
  • Some veggies
  • And the topper of all toppers, SUGAR.

I know in my head, six weeks is nothing.  I’ll blink and it will be over.  But, since I am at the beginning, she might as well have told me “no more happiness for the next six weeks!”.

I’m eating more vegetables, quinoa, rice and coconut products than ever before in my life.

This barrage of food rules has steamrolled into my life and made me crazy.  I cling to the foundation of maintaining a plant-based diet and enjoying everything else in moderation.  Letting go of literally ALL food rules has been my saving grace.  Becoming educated on how to eat healthy most of the time and then learning to be free to indulge here and there (with out guilt I must add) is what brought me out of my eating disorder.  It’s what keeps me completely un-intrigued with any sort of fad diet .  It’s what I hope to instill in my kids.

Extremism is what I’ve been allergic to.  It’s why I stay away from fad diets: don’t eat any carbs, eat only lean protein, don’t eat any sugar, never eat more than “x” number of calories, eat this but don’t eat that, etc.  These are the extremes that make me go crazy.  I don’t want food to control me again.

As I stood at the sink washing dishes, a question was pressed on my mind:  When it comes to food and weight, why do I tend to leave God out of it?

Why does prayer seem to be my last resort?  In the past, it was only after I had tried every diet and failed .  Now, it’s only after I’ve come to my wits end as to how to break my obsessive food thoughts.  Only after I’ve looked into the mirror for the gazillionth time and felt ashamed.

If we really believe our God to be so big, so caring, so intricately involved in our life… Why is He the last One we call on to help us experience freedom in this area?

Recently, I’ve been overwhelmingly moved to see my daughter bloom in regard to her prayer life.  She used to never, and I mean never, want to pray with me.  Even though I felt discouraged at times, I continued trying to show her how prayer impacts my daily life.

So I’ve stopped to pray with her in different circumstances: when she’s scared, when she’s sad, when she gets hurt, when she’s nervous to go to school, when she feels empathy for a friend when they get hurt.

Now, she is stopping throughout her day to pray – on her own.  It’s simply precious.  But it dawned on me:  It wasn’t natural to her.  It took her practicing prayer for it to become her first response.

Food obsessions and battles are areas we so easily compartmentalize.  We think we can control them.  We think we can have all the discipline, all the answers to reach our desired result.  We need to let go instead of hold on, focus on Him instead of our food, experience His peace instead of anxiety and fear.  And experiencing His peace simply means we recognize He is present with us.

I am going to be practicing going to the Lord first, with my food battles instead of stewing in my worry.  I have six weeks to practice.  And I want it to be a faith-filled experience rather than a faith-less one.

Are you experiencing any food obsessions or battles?  Are you inviting God into the struggle or are you saving Him for your last resort?



© 2012 Standing on Peace