Perhaps I was an odd child! 🙂
I grew up on an acre of land I often would go to the furthest point of the property and sit. Sit and think. Sit and daydream. Or I would open my bedroom window, lay on my bed, look at the field and think.
I can clearly remember spending hours daydreaming about my future. What I wanted to be when I grew up, when I would get married or where I would like to travel someday.
Back then anything seemed possible. I did not think in terms of IF I get married or IF I travel. Instead it was WHEN. I truly believed my dreams would come true.
Even as time passed I continued to dream well into adulthood. I was convinced that with hard work and determination, my dreams could and often would come true.
But one day, I stopped dreaming.
I think I can pinpoint the day. When the economy crashed, my world was turned upset down. Over the next two years, a series of events happened that I had no control over.
The stark reality, that there are circumstances in life I could not plan for or could not control, was devastating to me.
It no longer seemed safe to dream because there was no guarantee for tomorrow or what tomorrow would look like.
Years later I still have trouble daydreaming. And these days I’ve been missing the Sarah that daydreams.
I’ve been reflecting on my past ability to dream and have been wondering why I no longer do.
The answer is simple: I am afraid to dream. The pain and disappointment of a dream unrealized is difficult. In a way it feels safer not to dream.
Yet I have come to realize, by my not dreaming, I lack hope for the future.
Life without hope is…well…sad.
A lack of hope for the future significantly impacts the present.
If I have no hope for the future my outlook on the present is rather dim.
If each daydream is quickly ended before it starts with a negative thought of “Ya, right, like that will happen”, or “if I’m lucky I might get to do that”, it weighs down my perspective on the gift of the present.
I miss the Sarah that had hope.
I want to daydream again and, quit honestly, think happy thoughts about the future. 🙂
To do so I must learn to push past my fears and dream, all while handing my dreams over to the Lord, for He knows best.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Do you daydream? Do you have hope for the future?
© 2012 Standing on Peace