Well, here we are my friends. At the end of our Standing on Peace Body Challenge.
In thinking about and participating in this challenge, I have realized a few things about myself.
I have a heightened awareness to the role perfectionism plays in my day to day life. Perfectionism enslaves me most of the time.
Whether it be performing duties as a wife and mother, in my responsibilities of the home, in my eating and exercise, or even how I think about myself, perfectionism plagues me. I recently read a quote about perfectionism that hit home with me:
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame,judgment, and blame.”
At the bare minimum, this type of belief system – one where keeping it together staves off unwanted emotions – steals my joy and prevents me from fully participating in life.
I want to be free from this. I don’t want to miss out on life’s beauty because of my perfectionism. And I certainly do not want to be my own worst enemy because I can’t extend grace and kindness to myself. This challenge renewed my commitment to embrace letting go.
This challenge helped me identify why vulnerability is hard for me and why vulnerability is worth it.
Vulnerability goes against my natural tendency to stay closed off to people. My closest friends know when life get rough, I crawl into my “shell”. Which in reality, is the worst thing for me most of the time. I also see that my perfectionism feeds my tendency to display my mask. To put on the facade of having it all together is the opposite of being authentic and sharing my heart.
The good news is that I DO see the irreplaceable benefits of risking vulnerability. I get to choose to be vulnerable with those who will be kind with my heart. It increases depth in my relationships, brings freedom and turns my weaknesses into strengths.
I want authentic relationships in my life. I really do want to expose my insecurities and limitations, in order for healing and connection to take over. This challenge made me realize vulnerability won’t happen on it’s own. I have to be intentional and thoughtful about not closing myself off.
It is my prayer you have been encouraged to take a deeper look at yourself in regards to perfectionism and vulnerability.
Are you ready to let go of your fears of being vulnerable with others and not being perfect?
© 2012 Standing on Peace