Aug 292017
 
Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love Eph 4:2
It all started with my season of “being the chair”.
To sum it up, this lovely season was about me being humbled and waiting.  It was about the “not yets” in regards to my God given dream of speaking to women.  But really, I am not seeking pity, my friends.   I had come to terms with truth- it was not God’s timing for this specific dream to take flight – I must trust Him in my now.
But you see their was still a problem-Even though I was “good to go” emotionally and mentally speaking, I felt my current purpose in this season was not “good to go”.  In fact it was all systems stop.  I felt tied down physically and spiritually.  I was getting antsy people!  I mean, I was waiting on this God given dream, sure, but were my God given giftings/passions simply on hold in the meantime?  Was my adventure rollercoaster ride as a Kingdom worker out of order?
I began to delve into my deep inner psychiatrist (and this is usually where things can go wonky real quick).  I began to ponder if this was all God had for me in the now….to just be still.  To just wait.  Anyone with me?  Because this felt fairly ineffective for the kingdom….and even as we know “patience is a virtue and those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength”, I had to ask God if there was more to this waiting thing….then just waiting.
So I did.  On one of my morning “runs of bliss” (picture a Snow White scene with the birds chirping, sun shining, in addition to children at home) I point blank asked God, “I feel I have no purpose as I wait, is there anything I can do as I wait on You?”  And it was impressed upon my mind and heart in this moment as I believe the Spirit responded to my cry by saying, ” Seasons of waiting are always coupled with seasons of loving”.  Then the scripture “Bear with one another in love” came to mind and I pictured myself again as “the chair”.  A chair is still, yes, waiting, but a chair holds others up as it is still.  A chairs job description is to bear the weight of the person sitting on it.  Likewise, when we are “the chair” spiritually in a waiting season, our job description is to “bear the weight” of another’s pains, trials, questions, concerns, fears, and tears.  And do you know what words proceed this job to bear in love-you got it, be humble and patient.  The season of being the chair involves patience, waiting and humility-all still, inactive characteristics, but they are coupled with the action word to love.  This was a comfort to me-we are called to take action in love in our seasons of being “being the chair”.
God allowed me to flashback to a painful “being the chair” season of 4 and a half years of waiting for our first baby.  I remember being real tiffed with God at His lack of ability to produce in what seemed to be everyone else but me!  I also recall the need to shift perspective.  Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have (and in the meantime being real ineffective for the Kingdom/His “now plans” for me), God gave me purpose and the action of loving those who were right in front of me.  And oh how in this “season of being the chair” I had the privilege to love on one who we now call our “adopted daughter”.  Time while we waited for our own biological daughter, meant time we were instead to be loving another of God’s children.  Now fast forward 9 years (a month ago) as I cried at our “adopted daughter’s” wedding and sent her off to start a new life with an amazing man of God.
So if you are in a “season of being the chair” never think all this waiting and being humbled and being patient is for not.  God.  Is.  At.  Work.  In.  You.  And your work you are called to take action in is one word:  Love.  Find hope that “He who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion” Phil 1:6.  Find joy in your current purpose to love those you rub shoulders with today.  And do the impossible with Jesus-be active in your season of waiting.
Jillian

Jillian

© 2012 Standing on Peace

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Jan 212013
 

There I was.  On the airplane.  Weeping uncontrollably.  The stewardess came to ask me if I wanted anything to drink.  I was a sight to see.  As I smeared the mascara from the middle to outside of my face, I blubbered out mid tears, “It’s this book. It got to me”.  (Humbling moments such as this one seem to find me often.)

It was the book, “Kisses from Katie”, by Katie Davis.  A Christmas present I received from my sister in law.  Little did I know the intense emotions I would fight back as I encountered the story of this young woman’s journey of obedience to God.  I tried to explain to my husband how Katie’s story moved me to tears.  (He still didn’t fully relate with my emotional self, but such is my life as a woman.)

When God spoke, Katie said “yes”-even when it was to go to Uganda instead of partaking in the American dream of going to college, getting married, and living in wealth.  Even when it was to adopt thirteen Ugandan children.  She lived with “spiritual richness in material poverty, versus living with spiritual poverty in a land of material wealth.”

How Katie’s faith caused me to re-evaluate my life for 2013:

  • She confirmed my heart for adoption. Katie explained, “The truth is that there are 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children.  And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians.  If only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.  I have the freedom, the opportunity to do something about it.  The truth is that He loves these children just as He loves me, and now that I know, I am responsible.”
  • I had an introspection moment of seeing my own selfishness.  Do I truly love Jesus and others in my daily actions?  Am I roledmodeling a life like Jesus to my children? I pondered what deliberate ways we as a family could serve the poor and open up our home to others.  Katie’s words are, “I don’t always want to help other people.  There are certain days when I want to do what I need to do and keep moving.  But so often when we stop to be kind, when we don’t really want to, that’s when the sacrifice becomes most rewarding.”
  • She helped me understand that living life to the fullest was my choice. I want to live life rejecting fears, embracing risk, obeying God’s promptings throughout the day, and welcoming strangers into my home.
  • I recognized I can live with much less and give much more.  Holding loosely to earthly possessions and comforts in order to give more to those who are struggling to survive.
  • I have a new thankfulness and purpose in my motherhood.  “It is God’s work, that in bathing and clothing and serving children, we are truly being the hands and feet of Jesus.”

This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down His life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.  If anyone has material possessions and sees His brother in need but has no pity on Him, how can the love of God be in him?  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 Jn 3:16-18

Jillian

Jillian

© 2012 Standing on Peace

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