” I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Phil 4:11-13
Just as I finished running for five hours and crossed the marathon finish line I was taken through the gauntlet of food vendors and shirt and medal pick up spots. All I had to do was walk through it. But my legs were not working well. I literally looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dam as I maneuvered through each booth. “But I just ran a marathon,” I thought to myself, “Why is the walking part afterward such so much of a challenge. It’s JUST WALKING!”
I barely made the walk through before I met my family and quickly stated I needed their help. I put my arms around my adopted daughter on one side and my husband on the other and I put most my weight on them as they took me to the car. Because my legs couldn’t transition to the walk after the run.
One may say the mountain I just climbed was beyond my own ability. And they would be right. It is only through His strength that I overcame the mountain. Glory to God for His work in me to accomplish what I believed to be impossible. And glory to God for giving us assignments that are so beyond us that we end up living beyond ourselves.
This mountain assignment to run a marathon from God was not easy. Not perfectly carried out. Not free from spiritual, mental and emotional attacks. But it was one thing. Radiant. Radiant because the journey to the top is the greatest adventure beyond anything you could put together on your own. It is mixed with unexpected hiccups, but also crazy miracles. It is an adventure and ride like none other. Boredom is not remotely close to your mind and heart as you are so focused on the enormous task before you.
But where I sit today is in the state after the mountain top has been reached. The four months of training had consumed much time, energy, and focus. But the battle is over. The self discipline, learning new skills, relying on God for knowledge and strength and watching it all unfold is over. And the “What now?” pulse is running through my veins. I am left at the bottom of having climbed what felt to be this huge mountain with God and I am feeling a bit ansy. I find myself ready to do and unable to sit. rest. be. I am looking and longing for more. My body, heart, and mind are the opposite of on a high. My inner thoughts go, “How could anything get better than this? Maybe this was my big purpose God had for me and now it’s just coasting through the rest of my life. Maybe I can kiss the rush of abundant life with Jesus goodbye. Because I can’t see what is next.”
A Daughter’s prayer of longing:
Where do I go Lord after the mountaintop? Help me settle in with you and learn to walk. with. you. for. the. next. step. Be my gentle Shepherd that leads me up the mountain, down the mountain, and on the flat ground after the mountain. Teach me what it means to walk in the realness of life with you. Experiencing rejoicing, pain, overcoming, and aftermath. Content to be still. If this is what you are asking of me today. Not living for the high of following You. Just. following. You. For Your love and purposes for me are something I can stand firmly on. I am privileged to be called Your daughter. May I be found faithful to You in all this world brings my way. And may I be faithful to You as I trust in Your ways, not my own.
A Father God’s response of fulfilling:
I am a God of more. Your small feeling of radiance doesn’t compare with what I have planned for you up ahead. There is a lot more where that came from. I am not a God who leaves. I am not a God who gives up on you. I am relentless to love you unconditionally. I am always ready to keep pouring out abundant life. Abundant life happens when you are connected to Me, the Vine. But recognize this life is never in your plan. Timing. Or expected strength. Let go of looking for that next assignment I have for you. Let Me take care of the details and strategy. My ways will never be your ways. My time will never be your time. There will be highs and lows and flat areas we walk on together in this life. But it is not about what elevation you are currently standing on. It is about one thing. Fixing your eyes on Me. constantly. Trust Me. I am a God who is doing a work even in the “down time” of life. Will you let go and release cares, worries, emotions, expectations? Will you stop striving to earn and do and go? Instead allow My perfect peace to resonate in your deep soul. Rest. Refresh. Be. In Me. Today.
© 2012 Standing on Peace