Mar 142014

I was going alone.  And going alone is not something I do well.  At all.  I remember in my childhood informing my mom I “must have a buddy” to attend CanyonView summer camp.  It felt only natural to participate in soly group sports in high school.  I make sure to ask around to see who I would be able to connect with when joining a new women’s Bible study.  But sometimes our God calls us into the unknown.  And to do it alone.  This was this weeks Year of the Squirrel revelation.

I walked out the strange, uncomfortable and unexpected last weekend in response to a nudge from Jesus.  I had no expectations for how God would work as He lead me to attend my first writer’s conference.  I had all expectation God would do a work.  A good, good work.  Because when He leads us into the great unknown, there is fruit and there is joy.  Here is the proof:

Confession:  I am clutsy in nature, and even more clutsy when responding “Yes” to the Spirit’s leading.  But thankfully God knows each of our weaknesses and strengths and still invites all of His Daughter’s to participate with Him in His good work.  It was the last session of the writer’s conference.  I felt an impressing upon my heart to go up to one of the speakers and encourage her.

Confession #2:  I initially tend to argue with the Lord when He is prompting me to go and do.  I had a mental debate with Him,  “I mean, for Pete’s sake Lord, it is inconvenient timing and an inconvenient situation.  It is the middle of corporate worship, she is on the extreme opposite side of the room and everyone will look at me weirdly wondering why I am interrupting the session.”  He didn’t seem to go with my logical argument.  And…back to embracing the strange in my Year of the Squirrel, I said  “Yes” to God.

You might want to plug your ears for this next part.  Because here is where my clutsy approach happens.  I nearly tripped over half of the people as I got to where she was standing and worshiping and said, “Hi”.  (Completely awkwardly, and with no follow up.)  She graciously said, “Do I know you?”  I said, “No.” (Once again, awkwardly.)  Then I blurted out over the music, “I am Jillian”.  She waited for more.  And so I encouraged her with the one thing that was on repeat in my mind, “I so appreciate your courage to share out of what the Spirit directed you to say, not out of what you could say.” (being a published author and all).

She replied, “Thank you so much, I needed that.  I speak in 5 minutes again to the large group, would you pray for me.”  So we did.  It was a squirrel sighting my friends.  A time when the Lord led, I strangely, clumsily followed, and He showed up to bless.  All I can say is Wow.  What an honor it is to be apart of seeing our God work.  What a joy to see the intense love our Father has for His daughter’s.  What fruit happens when we are connect to THE VINE, Jesus.

Thank you Lord for pushing me to go alone.  But I see now that I am never alone. Because you are always with me.  And He is always with you too.  Say “Yes” to the Spirit’s strange nudge to you today my friends.  And I am expectant for the good work, joy and fruit that is to come.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Deut 31:6

In what ways have you had to “go alone”?







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