Jun 282013

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” – Maya Angelou



© 2012 Standing on Peace

Jun 212013

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  – Maya Angelou

Jun 122013

Ending a special chapter in your life is never without emotion.  Never without a process of letting go and embracing what’s new.

This is my last official post writing for Standing on Peace.

In some ways I can’t believe it to be true.  In all other ways, God has been preparing me for this and I have peace.

Jillian and I birthed Standing on Peace out of the longings God put in our hearts to reach women in the lonely and difficult places in life.  To take a more than frightening step in the direction of writing and creating.

To say Standing on Peace has been a learning and growth experience over this past year would be a vast understatement.  But we have loved every. single. step.  We have loved each one of you.

SOP has changed me in deep and wonderful ways.  I have seen, in greater capacity, God’s faithfulness and His working hand in the smallest aspects of my life.  Writing for SOP has also helped me get over the fear of putting myself “out there”.  It has helped define a clearer voice for me as a writer.  Working so closely with the writers of SOP only added to the love I feel for women.  It has built a greater confidence in God’s vision for me.

As God began moving in each of our lives and pulling a few of our writers in different directions, Jillian and I committed to praying diligently about the new direction of SOP.

As I’ve alluded to in my writings, God has brought about a plethora of transition and change in my personal life.  He is actively at work in our family.  So maybe I should have been prepared for Him to ask me to transition yet again.

And that’s exactly what happened as I began praying.  He began pressing on my heart that it is time to step away from SOP.

Jillian and I both feel complete peace and confidence in the way He is leading us.  He has put two very beautiful visions and desires in our heart, about how we want to speak into women’s lives.

My longings have not changed.  I still long to write from the deep spaces of my heart.  To continue creating a space of authenticity and love.  To write about the story God is telling through my everyday life.  The joys, challenges, process of healing and everything in between.

More than anything I want to give hope to women who believe: I’m just not good enough.  Because it’s a subtle lie far too many of us fall for.  One that steals our joy and can keep us stuck.

So to be clear, I will continue to write.  It will just be on my own site, which is in the creative process.

If you’ve at all been encouraged or challenged by my writing on Standing on Peace this past year, I do not want to lose touch with you!  I would love for you to email me and let me know you’re interested in getting a notification when my site launches.  Email me at audi@standingonpeace.com

I love you all,





© 2012 Standing on Peace

Jun 102013


I never knew being a mom could have such joy filled moments.  My past cheerleader self emerged from my inmost being.  My face held an unchanging ear to ear grin as I watched Lucy peddle without my hand holding the back seat.  The rush was unreal.  The moment was pure heaven. (The picture doesn’t truly catch Lucy’s hour of joy riding because unfortunately my prime timing to do the only photo was after she fell.)

Don’t get me wrong, I was terrified to let her go.  And her continual panicked moan of, “Aaaaa, aaaaa, aaaaa” told me she felt the same. But we both knew letting go was inevitable in order to embrace this new experience.

Just like I had to let go of Lucy’s seat in order for us to experience her riding a bike on her own, sometimes God says it is time to let go of something in order to embrace the new plan He has for you.  The new plan comes with unknowns, and is scary at first.  There is a mourning of the old way of doing things.

We panic just as Lucy did with an, “Aaaa, aaaa, aaaaa” feeling we aren’t ready.  We don’t have the strength, ability, or confidence.  We question God’s purpose as the Spirit leads us to uncharted territory.  But this is living life by faith.  Letting go of the seat of past ways, comfort, control, and pride.  And embracing God’s new bike riding experience for us!

This theme of “new” has been on my heart and mind for the past month.  God has been preparing me for the upcoming changes with SOP (Standing on Peace).

Although it is difficult to say goodbye to the three amazing women who poured their hearts into this ministry over the past year (And I am excited for the good, good, plans He has for them), God began to give me new, specific vision for SOP.

He has given me a new heart and passion for you.  A deep desire for us as sister’s in Christ to live in wholeness; in our mind, body, Spirit and as mother’s.  And out of this desire, write SOP Devotionals to encourage and give us peace in each of the above areas. (Dear Father, Dear Daughter Devotional: Summer Psalms starting one week from tomorrow!  More details to come.  I am overjoyed to begin this journey of faith with you.)

Here is my new commitment to you, my SOP sister’s.  I, Jillian Willis, commit to:

  • Pray for you daily.  I always love to get prayer requests through my email and I WILL pray for them!
  • Be your friend.  I will hurt when you hurt and cheer you on in your blessings and victories.
  • Write only what the Spirit leads me to write.  As I seek God in prayer for each post, I believe He will provide a timely, relevant word each of us.
  • Embrace.   Acknowledge my weaknesses, while embracing “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
  • Read the Bible daily.
  • Be real with you.  Sharing about my goods, bads, and ugly’s as a mother, wife, and daughter of God.  I celebrate your unique giftings, as I recognize I have my own.  And I will not be weighed down by comparison and discontentment. But understand I am free to fully be who God created me to be, knowing each of us serves a specific purpose in the body of Christ and we can help one another.

We serve a God who is constantly at work and is always doing something new.

  • Eph 4:23-24 says “To be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
  • Isa 43:18-19 says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it spring up; do you not perceive it?”

I wonder what new things God is doing in your life?  Maybe He wants to give you a new relationship, ministry, habit of reading His Word daily, attitude, perspective, contentment in your situation, clarity for living simply and with margin, hope for your future, freedom from sin and addiction, courage to act on the Spirit’s promptings, time to talk with Him in prayer daily?









© 2012 Standing on Peace

Jun 062013

This year has been a full one for me!

And I’ve really enjoyed the chance to write regularly.  I love to write, and hope it is a big part of my future.

But right now I’m feeling a call to radical presence–presence to Jesus, to myself, to nature, to quiet, to my husband, and to my children.  I am one who flings myself far and wide with lots of initiatives and ideas.  I’m feeling a call to pull it back and recenter this upcoming year.  I need to do the challenge I proposed on the site a few weeks back–saying no.  No blog, no homeschooling, no hosting the neighborhood Bible study, no service projects, no overseas mission trips.

I know I have a call to contemplative prayer and contemplative presence.  And this past year was just too busy to respond to and deepen in that calling.  I am tired of being too busy.

So, here’s to a year of letting go and slowing down.

Somewhere down the road I look forward to writing again 🙂


Jun 052013

With mixed emotions I write this post, as my last post for Standing on Peace.

It has been a blessed journey indeed!

Being a part of Standing on Peace came at a time in my life when I needed meaningful connection with others and needed to be affirmed as a therapist. I was just starting out working with clients after several years off and an unpleasant internship experience. My confidence was low. Processing through and writing about what it means to experience a peace of mind solidified the knowledge I had gained from graduate school. For this I am forever grateful.

But alas, seasons change. As this year with Standing on Peace comes to end I began to feel tugged in too many directions. Through Bible studies this year, Heidi’s challenge and my own challenge I heard the Lord’s call to simplify. Although I am a very part time therapist my heart deeply remains at home. The Lord is calling me back. My body may have been at home but my mind was not. He is leading me to be more intentional with my time and to make choices that follow my hopes for my family.

I will continue supporting the community of Standing on Peace as a reader and will keep you in my prayers.


Jun 042013

I’ve been in the process of learning a subtle lesson for the past few years.  But recently, it has been anything but subtle.

The lesson has been in how to take care of myself when silence and alone time abound.  And I’m not talking about the “heading to the spa” kind of alone time. I’m talking about the kind of alone time you have when your husband travels regularly.

And lately, my alone time has been expanded by us moving a state away.

I wish I could say I learned quickly how to spend this time well and with a good attitude.  In experiencing more time alone than I wanted, I have spent too many hours staring mindlessly into a TV.  Or even mindlessly eating in front of the TV. I’ve spent too many hours feeling sorry for myself, that I’m alone and have to stay home so my young children can get their rest.  Or passively being angry with my husband when we talk on the phone, so he feels guilty for being away.

No, I haven’t learned this art of being alone very fast or beautifully.

In all honesty, being alone has made me extremely uncomfortable.  It has made me realize my need to fill a room with noise because silence can be all too deafening.

Now that we have recently moved, and my husband’s travel continues, I have more time with my kids.  More alone time at night as we slowly develop a “normal” here.

I remind myself that this being alone thing is a true art.  I have to cultivate it and learn to enjoy and appreciate it.  In this season of life, I desire to treat myself well and use my time wisely and healthfully.  I can use this time to just be myself.

Perhaps you are single or live alone.  Perhaps your spouse works the night shift. Perhaps your husband travels too.  However you are experiencing being alone, remember it might take some time to learn the art.

I’m still learning with every passing quiet evening.  Here is a list of things I remember in order to be kind to myself while my husband’s away, while we transition.

While I’m Alone, I can:

  1. Light a candle
  2. Turn on some quiet jazz music (or favorite feel-good music)
  3. Work on a project I enjoy (searching for or organizing recipes, organizing family photos, etc.)
  4. Make myself a lovely dinner I can enjoy in quiet when the kids are asleep.
  5. Enjoy a glass of wine
  6. Read a good book
  7. Spend time writing
  8. Read my Bible for encouragement
  9. Be thankful for my husband and how God provides for us
  10. Have a phone date with a friend I rarely get to see
  11. Do an art project I enjoy
  12. Take a relaxing bath or shower
  13. Paint my nails
  14. Watch a “feel good” movie
  15. Go to bed early for some extra rest

Have you had to learn the art of being alone too?  What are some of your favorite things to do to be kind to yourself when you’re alone?



© 2012 Standing on Peace

Jun 032013

I KNEW I WOULD HAVE SOME SERIOUS TIME TO KILL ON MY 9 HOUR FLIGHT ONE WAY (WITHOUT KIDS) A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.  I prayed the night before the flight, as well as the morning of, that the Lord would give me eyes to see and ears to hear if someone on the plane needed a touch from Him.

I was ready for the unbelieving teenager who didn’t have an earthly father and longed to experience unconditional love.  I was ready for the gray haired woman who held on to numerous wounds from “so called Christians”.  I was ready.  I was prayed up and expectant for who and what God would bring on my travel day.

I shouldn’t be surprised when God has a different plan for me.  I had no one sitting next me on the way there and the way back.  Lord, but I thought you would have me ministering to someone?  What now?  It was as if He gently whispered,

Take this time to be with Me.

A typical day with my toddler girls (does this actually exist?) allows me to have 30 minutes or so in the Word and in prayer (during their nap/quiet time).  So this extended time on the plane was an unexpected blessing.

I read in the Word.  I read Richard Foster’s, “Celebration of Discipline” in full (If you don’t have a book for the summer and haven’t read this book, it will challenge and inspire you!)

The Lord impressed upon my heart a word and scriptures to include in an upcoming talk I felt nervous and inadequate to do.  I furiously wrote down pages of notes.

I prayed about His direction for this blog.  I prayed for my kids, my husband, you, and what activities He would have me be in this upcoming year.

Time alone with my Father was something I needed, but didn’t know it.  Time alone with Him was productive, powerful and peace giving.

A Father speaks to you, His daughter:

I desire your time.  Time to speak to you through the Bible.  Time to take away the worries on your heart and mind. Time to talk real. Providing real comfort in your sadness.  Real patience in your anger.  Real forgiveness from your sin.  Real hope in your now.  Real freedom from past hurts.  Real clarity and wisdom in your questions. And then, real filling of your deep soul.

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His.  He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.  He reveals deep and hidden things.  I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers;  You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you.” Daniel 2:20-21b,22a,23a

What sacrifice could be made in order to have daily alone time with Jesus?  What worries are heavy on your mind and heart and need to be lifted?



© 2012 Standing on Peace